Today is already the 2nd of December, which means I have been in Georgia for 3 months. And though it seems impossible, given that that is ¼ of a year, it also feels like I have been here for much longer. I wanted to write down how we got here, for those that don’t know the story, and why it feels like home, for those who might be interested. But I warn you, this will be like one of those recipes found in a blog post, where it might seem a little tedious to scroll through all the descriptions and the emotions behind it all, before getting to the ingredients and the method!
This morning I was driving from the house that we are renting, to the house we bought and that is being renovated. It is a ½ hour drive and gives me time to reflect, when I’m not gripping the steering wheel and questioning all my life choices because of the driving style here.
Tbilisi was shrouded in fog, the temperatures having dipped steeply the last few days. It was magical… and I could hear the echoes of everywhere I’ve lived, and some places I have been fortunate enough to visit, as I became aware of my surroundings:
Here the mismatched high rises that remind me of Hillbrow and other parts of Johannesburg,
there the four lanes of traffic, similar to what I experienced in Atlanta,
the settlement I came from, complete with free range cows and horses, reminiscent of many villages in Poland,
the river I drive along as I enter Mtskheta reminding me of the Black Forest and the reservoir I regularly drove along,
the mountains around Tbilisi often carry the memories of the Magaliesberg and other mountain ranges in South Africa,
the quaint coffee shops so similar to those in Totnes and Camden,
the cathedral looming large near our home in all of its sandstone glory brings to mind Jerusalem
the sheer chaos that passes for traffic and the coincidental nature of driving etiquette, so similar to India,
peculiar little shops and roadside stalls again reminding me of farm life in South Africa,
the various markets and especially the fruit stalls, transporting me back to Israel
the mountains I see when I leave the city behind, reminding me of Switzerland, Poland and South Africa in various ways
… all of these echoes seem present daily, like a steady base line to a familiar song. It isn’t the melody itself, but without it, the song would not be the same. And I guess, this is the best way I can explain why Tbilisi and Georgia as a whole, feels like the country that has been present in my subconscious, just out of reach of thoughts and yet very much a part of my life. Even though I was hardly aware of its existence 1 ½ years ago!
The day that I arrived in Georgia, once we had decided to move here, will always be significant to me: It was another early morning flight, after delays and layovers and I was in a taxi heading for our rental home around 3 am. We drove past the lake near this house and the driver had his window cracked. To say it was a sensory experience does not really explain it well, but I became aware of this rich fragrance. It was a blend of fresh water, (which in itself sounds very odd. Isn’t water odourless?) and fertile earth. And my body and soul responded with this yearning and surrender. The only way my brain could process it in thought, was the phrase repeating in my mind: “This is a fertile place. I can plant my life here and thrive.” And I guess this sense of connection to the country, the feeling of belonging and confidence that I will thrive here, is what has made this transition different to others I have had. So, yes, I have only been here for 3 months, but I feel like my life has been preparation for just this.
On a practical level, there are reasons we moved here. Decisions we made that led to this moment in time. Experiences that paved the way. So indulge me as I explain a little:
Part of the story is related to Markus and his company in Poland. It has, and continues to be an interesting ride, not without its potholes and detours. A few years ago there was a merger with an English company that seemed the next logical step after a long period of co-operation. But this merger soon proved itself to be one of those detours. For many reasons, it became clear that it was not sustainable or desired to be in that business model any more and Markus extricated himself by selling shares in the joint venture and reclaiming his own company. This, in turn necessitated an evaluation of where he saw himself in the company and the world, as well as working out where to invest the proceeds of this sale. Markus is great at research and doing deep dives and considered many options, until, out of nowhere, Georgia presented itself as a contender. Keen to evaluate it well, he did a fact finding trip here and saw the potential of this as a safe haven for investment. From that followed the idea of buying property here. Everything moved at a much faster pace than we could have imagined and before we knew it, we owned a home in Mtskheta, complete with 4 bedrooms, a pool and all the fruit trees of my childhood. Oh and it bordered a river, which has always been a dream of mine. At this stage, the rest of us had not been to Georgia and might have struggled to find it on a map! And we had not really considered leaving Poland either.
Another part of this story relates to our children. To say that the last few years have been a challenge, would be an understatement. Please don’t misunderstand, our children are not difficult or challenging, but we have faced issues that I am sure many parents of teens can relate to, especially related to a pandemic, general world chaos and children finding their own path in life. One thing that seemed to be causing undue stress was the school our children were enrolled in in Krakow. The expectations seemed too high for some, unrealistic for others and too low for yet another subset. In all, the pressure caused by the school seemed to outweigh the benefit of the environment, which we had long appreciated and praised. It seemed clear that a change was imminent, but we didn’t see many options in Krakow. Added to this, we were facing some mental health issues that we really wanted to pay attention to. The final part of this complex picture was that Elia was in her final year of school and would be leaving for university after the summer. Therefore we needed to create stability as well as examine change. And of course, no good story is complete without a few false turns and detours, and we had those as well. One of them diverted us to the Black Forest for three months this past summer. Because of this whole, intricate story, we imagined that staying in Krakow for at least another year would be best for all and planned for that. But life in our family is never boring and it became pretty clear that moving to Georgia, settling our youngest two into school here and renting a house while our home was being refurbished, was an urgent priority. If there is one thing that is true of us as a family, it is our ability to be flexible and problem solve under pressure.
The final part of this story relates to me and my own journey. Over the years that we have been in Poland, I have had many different roles: Homeschooling Mom, Stay at home Mom, Head of the PTA, Communications Director for school and also the International Women’s Association of Krakow and finally Life Coach. And somewhere, in the midst of that all, I felt like I lost my voice and lost touch with who I am. I am not suggesting that these roles were to blame. Rather, it was a cumulative effect of everyday pressures, city living, lack of self care and simply not taking time to pause and check in with myself. Let me just give one example here: I am not a city person. I have always known this about myself. And though there is so much about city living that I enjoy and appreciate, I know that the wide open spaces and particularly bodies of water refuel me. And yet, I seemed to either forget or underestimate the long term impact of not paying attention to this need would have on me. Because after a solid 6 years of living in Krakow, which is a very lovely city, I could not do it any longer. I was exhausted in ways I couldn’t even explain. But spending time in the Black Forest and rediscovering who I am when I am not in survival mode, made it very clear to me that something needed to be changed. I also discovered that some of my biggest strengths, sheer tenacity and willpower, could be damaging in the long run if they were not balanced with proper self care. And for me this is not about bubble baths and cuticle care, but taking time to check in with myself and spending time in nature to refuel. The swift decision to relocate to Georgia came at a time where I felt at home with myself and therefore able to relocate to a different physical space, but it also gave me the opportunity to focus on healthier habits for myself.
As I mentioned earlier, the drive to Mtskheta is ½ an hour, which allows a lot of thinking time. And my thoughts also drifted towards the building site I was about to visit. I wasn’t sure what awaited me, though I had some idea. The basic structure of the house remains, but much of the interior has changed to make the space brighter and more functional. We are not exactly sure of the time frame either. And as I was thinking about these unknowns and the very process of rebuilding, it seemed a good parallel with our family life. We are not entirely sure what this process will look like and how long the rebuilding will last. The final outcome is also not entirely clear. But we forge ahead, because we know that a brighter time lies ahead and we need to prepare for it.
This summary seems too detailed in some ways and lacking in detail in others. However, some of the stories are not mine to tell. I also did not want to make this an even longer read than it already is. It just seemed to be a good time to attempt at least to capture some of my thoughts and feelings about being here, as well as give a glimpse into the reasons for being here.
PS. The cover photo is the view from our bedroom in our home. I can't wait to wake up to that view every day!
Comments